


Only On Special Occasions

by sevengiraffes



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Apparently SHIELD has an HR, F/M, Implied Threesome - F/M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-16
Updated: 2012-07-16
Packaged: 2017-11-10 02:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevengiraffes/pseuds/sevengiraffes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"So could you please describe the nature of your relationship."</i>
</p><p>Natasha and Clint attempt to explain their relationship a representative of SHIELD HR. Love is for children, but making love, well that's a whole other story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only On Special Occasions

"So could you please describe the nature of your relationship."

Clint grumbled under his breath and without looking he could feel Natasha rolling her eyes beside him. Coulson had never cared. Every time he'd walked in on the two assassins going at it like rabbits in a safe house, he had just sighed and closed the door. But when their new handler, some junior agent called Jeff, had caught Natasha straddling her partner in a hotel room in France, he had gone bright red, yelped and reported them straight to SHIELD HR.

When had SHIELD even gotten an HR?

So here they were, sitting across the dining room table of Avengers Tower, being forced to explain themselves to a nervous looking SHIELD representative. Knowing very well that the entire Avengers Team were listening in from the kitchen.

"We fuck." Clint said bluntly, crossing his arms, "Pre-mission sex, post-mission sex-"

"Undercover sex." Added Natasha.

"God damn I love undercover sex."

"Sometimes he tops, sometimes I top."

"It really just depends on the mood."

"We've done it in hotel rooms, living rooms,"

"Roof tops, office buildings."

"There is nothing like table sex, is there?" Natasha's mouth curled into a slightly sinister smile as she spoke, her hands running across the dining room table.

"Personally I prefer aeroplane bathroom sex, actually, scrap that, any bathroom will do."

"You just like it when there's a chance of getting caught."

"So do you."

They grinned at each other, before turning back to the rep.

"Anything else you'd like to add," her voice squeaked slightly as she spoke.

"Well..." Clint glanced towards the kitchen door, pondering for a few seconds before answering, "Sometimes Stark joins in."

"But only on special occasions," Natasha clarified.

"Best Fourth of July ever." Tony whispered to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Avengerkink, for a prompt inspired by a conversation about which Avenger would you choose if you had the chance:
> 
> _"They're all epic, but I just don't think I could deal with Tony Stark on a daily basis. Maybe just on holidays?"_
> 
> _"ZOMG, I love the idea of Tony being a holiday thing. 'I just bring that out on special occasions.'_


End file.
